Is that a scar on your face? You don't want to give the same, bland answer all the time. Elon Musk targets Bernie Sanders over tax tweet: 'I keep forgetting that you're still alive' The Twitter spat was in response to Sanders' demand that "the extremely wealthy pay their fair share." There might be little things that go wrong throughout your life, but at least you're still living it. Everyday that you're on the right side of the grass is a good day. Youre totally on the same page. Doing fairly well, unless you have some contagious disease and are about to infect me . I havent found anyone who matches my kinks yet. No one loves superheroes. How to respond to an ex asking how you are? I thought you already knew you were a sociopath. Hemali Adhiya, ICF Certified Relationship Coach, Expertise: Relationships, Marriage, Couples, Grief, Life Coaching, Hemali is an ICF-Certified ACC Level Life Coach with 3 years of experience in relationship, marriage, and grief coaching. Im in a relationship with myself. Nice outfit. Great, but I should warn you that I am totally biased. I always yawn when Im interested. The Arena Media Brands, LLC and respective content providers to this website may receive compensation for some links to products and services on this website. Aeldrion 5 yr. ago. Here are some funny, witty, snarky, smart, and sarcastic responses to some of those annoying everyday questions its hard to avoid: I couldnt possibly cover all of the annoying everyday questions that are probably chipping away at you, but here are some of the most popular: Related 26+ Funny Responses to Being Asked on a Date (Replying Yes or No), Related 29+ Funny Responses to Compliments. Scientists say the universe is made up of electrons, protons, and neutrons. I only went to the gym four times instead of my usual five." Sarcastic response: "Yeah totally. Mentally? Thats no excuse for treating someone like they dont exist, especially since 85% of participants said theyd rather be told upfront that someones not feeling it. via: Pexels / George Pak. Firing back with something a little funny or witty will make them take notice! Thank you Fred. Listen, maybe your crush really did lose their phone. When someone insults someone, the insulted might walk out of the room, or just stop talking to the other person. I just adore my own company. Furthermore, he has teaching experience from Aarhus University. This way, youre insulting themand they just might be dumb enough not to notice. It doesn't mean that you don't actually take showers. I'd love to give you a nasty look, but it appears you already have one. By subscribing to this BDG newsletter, you agree to our. Use the opportunity to make a good impression. If you are in a coma, on the other hand, you are legally very much alive. Why not laugh about it and allow it to bring us closer together? Your response should depend on the rapport you share with the sender. If at first, you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you. Some people are going to find your witty responses funny, and some people arent. If its better than yours Ill chalk it up as a win. My grandfather had a ton of these. Check out: Image credits Photo by Priscilla Du Preez on Unsplash. Death is inevitablesome might even say it is a terminal inconvenience or a reason to suddenly stop sinning. "You know I can do this anytime.". "It's a funny thing about life, once you begin to take note of the things you are grateful for, you begin to lose sight of the things that you lack.". Keep calm and be awesome. response, because I need clarity in my interactions. Speak Now Or Forever Hold Your Peace: What Does It Mean? Being single is much better than being married. Theyre not replying to you, but theyre posting on Twitter. alive # dead meat # tremors # kill count # survived # reaction # united states of al # dean norris # unitedstatesofal # you only live once reaction # united states of al # dean norris # unitedstatesofal # you only live once I get my daily paper, look at the obituaries page and if Im not there, I carry on as usual." You have an old soul. 75. Keep asking and maybe one day youll get a sensible answer. You just live. 37. 6. I'm fine. 64. I hated you the moment I met you, and I still hate you. Does the new one work any better? Could have been worse, right. Is my relationship status a joke to you?! "Fine" is a boring conversation-killer. It could be raining men, and Id still be single. Mentally? It was also revealed that 40% of users who said they had done the ghosting did so because they simply didnt know how to explain their disinterest and felt that disappearing altogether was less hurtful. 3. I cant complain, not that anyone listens anyway. Getting better with every passing second. The person will likely pick up on the joke, making this awkward situation something that can be laughed off. Some people may have thyroid problems, but I can tell youre fat because youre lazy. Socioeconomically? 10. 20 Warning Signs You Are In A Codependent 20 Warning Signs You Are In A Codependent Relationship. 73. Alexa's response: No, that's not true. Just because you're using the "what if" format doesn't mean you can ask anything. He started this blog to help others find and define their own self development journey. This one is a bit depressing, which is why you should watch when you use it. I repeat I am plural! Obviously, thats because I dont have a boyfriend/girlfriend! OK, so now at least you should have some idea of how to respond if your ex texts you out of the blue. Some people spend all their time on their phone. These comebacks are best for those situations where you dont just want to insult someoneyou want to own the room. When you're mad, but don't want to ruin your impression, this is a nice way to reply to your crush or match. However, I dont recall anything about morons. So perhaps the issue is not that they are taking a long time to reply. Im reminded of how unfair life is every time I see you. Read more about Martin here. If someone clearly doesnt want to talk to you, the best thing to do is not talk to them. If ignorance barrel prices go up, I want drilling rights to his head. Wait, are you my Superman/Wonder Woman? (bonus points to you if you sing it). Moving in with Roommates? Just standing here waiting for stupid questions I guess. How are you? 54. I was hoping you would be able to tell me that. On the plus side, a little humor injected into someones day can have a positive impact on their otherwise average day! I plead the fifth. 9 Best Ways To Ask Someone To Talk On The Phone, 9 Other Ways to Say Im Good At on a Resume, 10 Polite Ways to Say No Visitors after Surgery, 11 Best Ways to Say Im Here for You to a Loved One, 10 Professional Ways to Say I Am Not Feeling Well. Like "I am not a Sunday morning inside four walls with clean blood and organized drawers. but that was before I read Fred's comment below. I see youve chosen this time to humiliate yourself in public. I'm sorry I hurt your feelings when I called you stupid. What to say when your crush asks how you are? 10. Are you asking just to make yourself feel better? 15. Voice command: Alexa, open the pod bay doors. Here, there are hilarious replies, witty comebacks, flirty responses, and many other answers to this question. They really care for you, and you better value their presence well. Damn, now why didnt you think of it earlier?! I dont blame you, Ive had it up to my neck with annoying, repetitive, shallow everyday questions and I often respond with something funny, silly, or sarcastic to make it known. HubPages is a registered trademark of The Arena Platform, Inc. Other product and company names shown may be trademarks of their respective owners. Well, seeing as you care, how long do you have? Im quite certain that Im single because I didnt forward those chain messages stating: forward this to 10 people and you will meet the love of your life in 10 days, or else you suffer bad luck in the past. . 35. Why is it OK for you to be an idiot, but not OK for me to point it out? Figuring out how to respond to a ghoster is all a matter of accepting whats done. It is a humorous way of saying they have not heard from you in a while. Funny Answers to "Why Are You Still Single?" Because no one worthy has beaten me yet in a card fight! If laughter is the best medicine, your face must be curing the world. 2 I ask for your birth chart one time, and suddenly, I'm a mind-reading witch that knows what you're thinking. Thats because my crush is a fictional character. 13. Sometimes, being emotional stops us from replying to the messages of others. The fact youve replied at all has come as a shock. If you like me, send them while Im alive. Brian Clough (football team manager), I have never killed a man, but I have read many obituaries with great pleasure. Clarence Darrow (lawyer), Millions long for immortality who dont know what to do with themselves on a rainy Sunday afternoon. Susan Ertz (author), In this world, nothing can be certain, except death and taxes. Benjamin Franklin (inventor), Life is hard. How do you think that I am doing? You a cop? Sarcastic comebacks come in handy any time someone is behaving in a particularly annoying way. Herodotus (historian), "At my age, I do what Mark Twain did. [Read: The step-by-step guide to being a funny person and make everyone love your company]. Cant complainI have tried, but no one listens. I'm afraid I can't do that. [Read: 30 foolproof pickup lines and 10 you should never ever use]. I am not sure what you mean. She is a Certified Emotional Intelligence Practitioner from The Priority Academy and has over 17 years of experience in content writing and editing for online media. Its always annoying when people take a long time to reply. For instance, a friend will be amused when you sarcastically reply, Not today, Satan! However, I need to take you back about 12 years to answer that question. If you're really feeling them, you can give them one last chance to make up for their communication lag. The first is your memory goes, and I can't remember the other two." I'm happy! Im a wreck of a human being, thats why! Hey, I can see straight to the back of your head when I look into your eyes! People will often tell you Im too busy to text you back. Best "How Are You?" Answers. 2023 LovePanky.com Privacy Policy | Terms of Service | About Us | Write for Us | Contact Us, How to be funny and make someone laugh over text just by being YOU, How to learn to be witty and win over everyone in the room, 20 wise medieval insults you could bring back into trend, 12 types of humor you can use and how it affects the people around you, How to be funny and make people love your company, 30 foolproof pickup lines and 10 you should never ever use, How to have playful banter and keep the flirting alive forever, 20 things you MUST know to master a dry sense of humor, The step-by-step guide to being a funny person and make everyone love your company. In reality, "How are you?" could be more than just a . 101. 4. Is it your job to spread ignorance? How did you get here? Im always there when I need me. By rejecting non-essential cookies, Reddit may still use certain cookies to ensure the proper functionality of our platform. You look tired. Here's one to use when you're having a spectacular day. Get your own life first before you try sharing it. Because nowadays, the industry prefers singles over albums. My blood pressure this is an all-time classic, not the best but had to be said. #19: Bumble comeback The best comeback text yet. Required fields are marked *. My lawyer has stated that I dont have to answer that question. Oftentimes, these people just cant help but stick their noses in things they actually have no business with. (What To Do), Why Do I Feel like a Roommate in My Marriage? Dave Barry (author). Reply. Hopefully, not as good as I will ever be. Could Be Payday. How do you usually respond to the question? Sure isnt my pay, Im still pretty broke. Alright so far, but there is plenty of time for things to get bad. Search, discover and share your favorite Still Alive GIFs. Best 45 seconds of my life. upstart loan login; jim bell siloam mission salary; . Do I look like someone whos into cheesy things like romantic relationships?! Theres this one time when a cute guy/gal asked me if I have a boyfriend/girlfriend and I said yes because I didnt hear the question. is willie rogers of the soul stirrers still alive; cal berkeley football recruiting questionnaire; american housewife cancelled. You don't want to be rude, but it's okay to give them a little sarcasm by using this phrase. Your email address will not be published. If someone takes a long time to reply, it can feel much longer than it is. New comments cannot be posted and votes cannot be cast. Because no one worthy has beaten me yet in a card fight! IDK, pick your favorite fictional player. Its the same reason why I dont post pictures of myself. More like give me a sign that you're still alive. The data will take longer to reach Earth than it would if it was sent from someone on Earth. Grab a few of these snarky but oh-savage good comebacks ahead of time, and youll be ready to win any argument. I dont think youre an idiot but whats my opinion compared to countless others? Its no secret that essays take longer to write than typical text messages. Make sure you give witty responses only to persons close to you, or you know they wont get offended by such responses. I just woke up like that one day. Brilliant! I am really just trying hard to avoid ambiguous questions at this moment. Talk is cheapbut then again, so are you. The best GIFs are on GIPHY. But still, some people will try to satisfy their curiosity and meddle with your personal life. You sure have a bodacious rackfor a guy. So, it might be wise to double-check they're still alive before you complain. It can be good to just say it how it is. I firmly believe that a romantic relationship is a huge distraction. I am doing wellor that could be my anti-depressants speaking. Acting like a prick doesnt make yours grow bigger. Single is the new blackif that even makes sense! Thats because I only enjoy long, romantic walks to the fridge. Susan Winter, relationship expert, and bestselling author, This article was originally published on Dec. 15, 2020. 86. They used to call them jumpolines, until your mom jumped on one. Not me, Im pretty depressed but thanks for asking. I cant really complain, but I will still try. If you are not happy being single, then you will never be happy being in a relationship. Hi! If you knock on my hearts door, I might let you in. Im sorry I hurt your feelings. Sort of. If this doesn't get a response, it's sure to get a laugh. Im too fine for the ugly, yet too ugly for the fine. Spiritually? (Wriggle your hips) I am as happy as a tick on a big, fat doggy. Perhaps you are just such an exciting person. Its good to see youre not letting education get in the way of your ignorance. Depends who you ask, if you ask me, it was fine. This is a good response to throw out there. This is the perfect time for you to become a missing person. Hanging on. Youre supposed to think that theyre so busy being cool that they dont have time for you. I used to think you were a pain in the neck. Maybe they had a giant project at work and lost contact with all their friends and loved ones. However, it is best to stick to the basics with a colleague. The hottest single of the year is me. Physically? conservation international ceo; little debbie peanut butter creme pies discontinued. Playful and sassy dig, then blocked. What's your sign? There is no gray area (<brain matter joke): either you are brain-dead or you are not. Yes, believe it or not, it really does happen. 32. Its because I always show up on dates with bottles of wine for myself. 29. Dont wake me up yet. There is not always a need to be so funny, witty, or clever. If this doesnt cause them to reply, then maybe you should rethink your friendship with this person. All our lives, we were taught to follow our passion. Are you always this dumb, or are you making a special effort today? Hello, how are you? No, waitIm actually plural. At least my hair looks amazing. Reproduction without explicit permission is prohibited. [Read: 20 things you MUST know to master a dry sense of humor]. 14. Don Draper? Ive seen your kind before but last time, I had to pay admission. Im single by choice. But, because they have taken so long to reply, you have grown older and wiser. Tell me, how can I face my problems when the problem is my face? Nah, just kidding (though it might be true to some of you). There are many other euphemisms you could use, though: Still ticking. Not bad. Physically? Get the very best of LovePanky straight to your inbox! Share the best GIFs now >>> Here's another way to respond to your crush. Your email address will not be published. And trust us, once you use these lines, everyone will be ooh-ing to your snarky comments the next time someone dares to make fun of you! Rita Rudner (comedian), "When I die, I want my body to be donated for research, but more specifically, to a scientist who is working on bringing dead bodies back to life." 10. Unknown, "He was a great patriot, a humanitarian, a loyal friend . Shane from The L Word? Paul Levesque (Triple H), pro wrestler & VP at WWE "It's funny now because I'm kind of in this weird kind of combo twilight zone of the last bits of my in-ring . 24. I dont mind you talking so much, as long as you dont mind me not listening. 55. I've come up with a compilation of funny and clever answers to the question Why are you still single?. 98. 18. Stop joking! Youre about as sharp as a bowling ball. 5. Not so much. I dont have time to accommodate other human beings in my life! Finnish with this conversation! "If at first, you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.". Passed into the next room and told me to tell you go fuck yourself. All jokes aside, death is one of the few "sure things" in life, and it's also something all of us have in common. 97. Maybe the reply is just taking a long time to come back. Because Id rather be alone than put up with someones sh*t! Youll never be even half the man your mother is. Because I prefer the company of dogs/cats rather than humans. Your lips are moving, but all I hear is blah, blah, blah.. This does not seem right. Relationships, Marriage, Couples, Grief, Life Coaching, Certified Emotional Intelligence Practitioner, Relationships, Beauty & Lifestyle, Health & Wellness, Infographic: Tips To Continue A Conversation After Responding To How Are You. 94. 42. There is nothing wrong with responding with a funny or witty remark if youre getting annoyed with repetitive questions. Perhaps it will encourage them to respond quicker in the future. Feeling confident? 16. In such a case, if you are unavailable to communicate with new clients right away, you can use auto responses instead. Without your thumbs, its unlikely you will be able to text anyone. Nice and dandy, like cotton candy. Id smack you, but that would be animal abuse. Is It A Bad Idea To Lose My Virginity To An Old Crush? but it's just so blunt and funny. Not even the fussiest, or clingiest person in the world would expect a dead person to reply to them. 62. Use sarcasm to let them know that you do not approve. You may have noticed that I take a step back when we talk. Maybe I am a kindergartner? Thats because theres no vacancy in my heart. Its not my choice, but its still a choice. Could be payday. Because your ass is out of this world! You don't need to say it. Everyone knows a happy dog wags his tail, so if you're feeling happy and joyful, this would be a good response to give to someone asking how you're doing because it's clever and unique. Great, because my name wasnt in todays obituaries. It takes a specific kind of person to ghost someone its really not that hard to send a quick Im not interested text but rest assured, they exist. I'm wondering how you are. How do you want me to be? I know youre nobodys fool, but maybe youll be adopted someday. I learned my lesson. Because Im awkward and ugly. Im still waiting for my Superman/Wonder Woman. This one gets to the point of what they want to know, it's humorous, and it makes ya think. He was a good OP, of impeccable character. The person who told you to be yourself gave you some bad advice. Youre not as bad as everyone says. Conspiracy theorist group QAnon hit a bizarre milestone on Tuesday, when its supporters gathered for what they believed would be the return of the late JFK junior - who, they postured, would be. It does seem like a massive gap doesnt it? Chuck Bass? 2. But, whats the likelihood of that happening? But sometimes sending a little message before excommunication can give you the confidence boost you need to dropkick them from your mind for forever. It lets him know that you love spending time together. But, if they were, it would be a valid reason for them taking so long to reply. By accepting all cookies, you agree to our use of cookies to deliver and maintain our services and site, improve the quality of Reddit, personalize Reddit content and advertising, and measure the effectiveness of advertising. Break the cycle, rise above, focus on science! Feel my shirt. Clever comebacks not only showcase your distastethey demonstrate your intelligence, too. (Explained). My only talent is not being in a relationship. She buried three husbands and two of them were just napping." It's Okay. 1. Funny as phuck. 1. Come to think of it, your face is old, too. I could never tell when someones flirting with me or if theyre just being nice. "Ugh I was so lazy this week. 50. The truth is, if you really want to get him back, you should follow the steps outlined here.. 13. As for me, I cant even afford honey! Oh, well 8. Dear family and friends of Arthur Dayn, As we enter into an unprecedented dark age with the invisible enemy known as COVID-19, the life of our dear friend Arthur Dayn ends. Your question is registered, we will answer when in the mood. Im sorry. 91. Arthur lived a short life, but none could doubt that it was a good one. Your hair looks great! I always root for the little guy. Which just make the unexpected moments of levity all the more hilarious. What if questions can help you form connections fast, but you don't want to rush or force it. I am doing a bit better than before, but not nearly as awesome as I am going to be. 63. Save it for your best friend, but avoid using it on your teacher. Dont get caught with nothing to say. 20. Its a before picture in one of those plastic surgery magazines, isnt it? You may also like: 30 Best Responses To An Apology For A Late Reply. If you are in a coma, then that is a valid excuse for not texting back. It would be great if puppies would stay puppies forever. My day was fine, it was everything else that was the problem. "Tony, I'm here to be for you what someone once was for me. Instead of listening to your opinion, how about I put on some cartoons for you, and get you a juice box? But, as soon as we feel better, that person no longer serves their purpose. They were not expecting someone so wonderful to talk to them. I play hard to get even if nobody is trying to get me. 11. 45. Sounds like effort to me. Another way to say Still Alive? I've Tried, but No One Listens, If I Was Any Better, Vitamins Would Be Taking Me, Better than I Was a Minute Ago, Because You're Here, Okay, Because My Name Wasn't in Today's Obituaries. 13. Id love to insult you, but you probably wouldnt understand. Average, I think, that sounds about right. Haha basically a sassy way to say, "I'm still alive." Well, I was trying to be invisible but I guess that didnt work. Funny give back answer for who are your ex boyfriends? Choose one of these responses to inject some life into your monotonous chats. Hmmph. 81. I dont know how you do it, but after a shower, you look even greasier. Thats the biggest joke Ive heard recently. Copyright 2011 - 2023 IncNut Stylecraze Private Limited. 11. This one is a bit long. You are shocked by his/her response, and you respond angrily "but what about me?". Have you met food? And maybe thats the reason why theyre taking so long to reply. But Ive also had better. Because Jamaican me crazy! You may join me, though. I hear good things; however, you should never listen to rumors. 1. provided, of course, that he really is dead." 382 Likes, 344 Comments. If you're friendly and check in with each other here and there, reply but keep the conversation short. 4. Our goal is to create English lessons that are easy to understand for everyone. I dont go around asking how youre still married, do I? Here are some of the most humorous replies to "How are you? "Accept the facts for what they are, and be grateful you're not being strung along or played.". 4. Thats because the person I like doesnt like me back. (Say it like he or. 5. Youre like Monday: no one likes you. I dont know where you got your looks, but I hope you kept the receipt. When they play it cool, play it ice cold. The answer is simple. Why Give a Funny Response to an Everyday Question? 2. On this page, I've gathered together 100 of the best. It may come across as insensitive, but that's just how our current world works. 17. If ugliness was measured in bricks, I would be the Great Wall of China. No, not really. A real low-life. Another excuse that people use is Im just hoping in the shower. There's no reason why you should have to express emotions to whoever asked. Whats with all these questions? It would be easy to answer that question with a simple "I'm fine, thank you.". Thats why Im rooting for your penis. Funny Responses to "What Are You Doing?" What does it look like I'm doing? He sold it to me on his deathbed. Funny and Clever Answers to "Why Are You Still Single?". Make sure the person you say this to is able to take a joke. It depends on what or who I compare myself to. I dont know. Or you could be humorous back at them and say "No, I'm not. Cookie Notice " Actually, you're mad" is a version of the classic, rhetorically sophisticated comeback "I'm rubber, you're glue." This one is the white-belt level of "who's mad?" martial arts a simple. Sarcastic response: Express the appropriate level of enthusiasm, then let this handsome, cheeky British man (aka Jimmy from You're The Worst) do the talking: 3. This is one of those worst epic responses to I love you makes us feel for the poor love-struck fellow. WHAT DID THEY SAY?? He's jokingly texting if you're ok. Blogging about a wide range of topics to help facilitate a better future. Let's grab a drink" 3) "Hey, how was that [insert something specific she mentioned when you met her]?" 4) "You can stop worrying about me I made it home safely last night" The only way youll ever get laid is if you crawl up a chickens butt and wait. [Read: How to be funny and make people love your company]. If corporate email language won't do it, nothing will. You don't need to miss them, because you are willing to travel to them, and kiss them. Your secrets are always safe with me. You nervously reply "yeah, but I'm a little busy and-", only for one person to reply "um, no one asked you. I text the same message ' are you alive' when I haven't heard from them in a while. Are those space pants? . 100. Theyre incapacitated when it comes to sending a simple text, yet they can Insta their whole day. Its too small to be out there all alone. Use them as you see fit when someone pokes their nose on your relationship status. So, it might be wise to double-check theyre still alive before you complain. You just have bad luck at thinking. Funny Response to "What Are You Doing?" "I cry." Humor is about creating surprises. 16. Same thing youre doing, talking to you now. Hopefully he'll compliment you right back. Ill get back to you tomorrow when the results are in. You were a young man when you last spoke. Photo by Glenna Rankin on reshot 02 "It has been a while since I've heard from you, and at this point, I'm over it." My bad, its just your mouth. Better than most, but maybe not as well as others. Do you want the short or the detailed version? *sips wine/tea*. It's best to say when you're in a horrible situation, like in a class you can't stand. 5. I hate to break it to you, but Im not single. 14. 1. Keep talking. Now, I understand why some animals eat their young. (perfect for vegans). To contact our editors please use our contact form. However, the time it takes for a puppy to grow up is a lot longer than it should take for someone to reply to your message. Youre a ground-hugger. Youll go far someday. 30. The police? Maybe this person really likes you, and they have a heart condition. Sorry, life. 24+ Clean Comebacks for Bullies Thatll Make You Smile, Is My Boss a Narcissist Quiz (10 Questions to Help You Find Out!).