He pasta-way. So they each go into the woods, find a bear, and attempt to convert it. 5. Im pretty sure I married someone elses soulmate. What did one plate say to the other plate? You wait here, I'll go on ahead. The difference between "Ooooooh" and "Aaaaaah" is about three inches. The next time you would be subtracting 10 from 90. Walking takes too long. Because there were a lot of knights. Get ready to laugh, hard. How do you stop a bull from charging? Im not sure how I feel about masturbation On the one hand, its pretty great. The bear shrugged. Wait, don't actually look if you want functioning eyes. Privacy Policy. I adore the following, in no particular order: knee-high tube socks, acrostic poetry, and my little brother. Youre getting mayo all over my bed!, Maria went home happy, telling her mother about how she earned $20 by climbing a tree. Hes been going through some shit. Well it's your lucky day, because we've got . Then why are you still talking? But I'm clean now. Two men meet on opposite sides of a river. He tells his waiter, "I want a grilled cheese." I used to be addicted to soap. While it may be tempting to give a rude comment a piece of your mind, doing so is unlikely to change the situation for the better. If you see me laughing, its because I already have. Why do we tell actors to "break a leg?" You come across as a person who has low self-esteem and is embarrassed to ask anybody for anything, for the fear of being refused or rejected again and again, so I did it on my own and to stop you from becoming a spectacle. When someone asks did I ask you, you have only a moment to decide whether to be clever or funny. The guy responds, "I don't care what star sign it is!". Condoms have evolved: theyre not so thick and insensitive anymore. 32. Why are women like KFC? This one is both funny and clever because at first, it seems like a strange response but then it becomes clear that you are calling the question asker dumb. I swear I wasnt lying, I was just writing fiction with my mouth again. Watch me pretend to care. 34. As I mentioned, this page contains a list of funny question you can ask Cortana. He was deadlifting. These wisecracks are seriously hysterical. "Close the door, I'm dressing!". A guy will search for a golf ball. A 6.9 is a good thing screwed up by a period. READ THIS NEXT: 183 Jokes for Kids That Provide Good, Clean Fun. Because, as mentioned above, the question implies that the question asker does not care about what the person they asked it to has to say. I have a joke about time travel, but I'm not gonna share it. Learn more about us here. Whats the difference between the G-spot and a golf ball? 8. What do you call an expert fisherman? How do celebrities stay cool? It needed help figuring out its problems. Explanation: This works on a couple of levels: as wordplay (genes vs. jeans) and as scientific fact (genes can determine body shape). Thanks a lot Sergios Rotar (hope i didn't make any typos. How did the hipster burn his mouth? What did one ocean say to the other ocean? Now do you get it? Three guys go on a ski trip together. Short Jokes That Are Genuinely Funny: 1. Because he was always spotted. Updated: 13 September 2022 First Published: 16 September 2019 Kids are natural comedians, they love telling jokes and laughing at even the silliest stories. Original don't care + didn't ask. A response that will make you feel like you won the confrontation. Watch popular content from the following creators: Aimzy(@aimzygg), jordan(@jjsshenanigans), sam(@.samceline), Human(@_that_human_being_), Sophia Voropaeva(@_sopha21), jamal(@jamallxoxo), camille ;)(@111camillee), Jafiki(@jafiki), (@user1118012706685), Bacon vs Emos on this acc(@savage.bacon68) . What do you call two witches who live together? If youre loving these clever jokes, youll get a kick out of these St. Patricks Day jokes youll want to share all year round. Even if you love these clever jokes, youll still get a kick out of these anti-jokes. The line gained popular recognition in mid-June 2011. One was a-salted. Question and Answer Jokes What was the reason for the confused looking woman staring at the can of frozen Apple juice for twenty minutes? If a woman sleeps with 10 men shes a slut, but if a man does it Hes gay, definitely gay. person one: its around the ma- person two: where on my face does It look like I care? A guy goes to a pet store to buy a goldfish. Every once in a while, we come across somebody who just doesnt seem to care about anything no matter what we say. Next time someone asks you, who asked, or did I ask use one of these clever comebacks and put them in their place. Whos There? It usually confuses people first time hearing it but that's the point. Tap To Copy. That way, when you criticize them, you'll be a mile away, and you'll have their shoes. Why does bread take so long to digest? But when played all at once, they form a C-minor chord. . 38. Founded in 2010, Thought Catalog is owned and operated by The Thought & Expression Company, Inc. For over a decade, we've been at the bleeding edge of media, pioneering an infrastructure for creatives to flourish both artistically and financially. Because 7-8-9. 30 Hoover Jokes & Puns Guaranteed to Make You LOL, 40 Moustache Jokes That Are A Cut Above The Rest, 30 Best Gnome Jokes & Puns Kids Will Love. Her mom responded, Maria, they just wanted to see your panties! Maria replied, See Mom, I was smart, I took them off!. We all wish that at the moment you could have some great response. Such as bosses, future bosses, hopeful romantic partners, future in-laws, or random people on the street. But these clever jokes offer something special: In addition to making others laugh, they make you sound smart. For more information, please see our Once you open it, you realize its half-empty. This often diffuses the situation and shows that you are not bothered by the insult. Beano Jokes Team. 40. Knock Knock! Ok. (and then continuing usually does the trick). How do you make holy water? A cherry float. When did I ask? Just be careful: You can send some of these memes as a message to the right person: Whats 6 inches long, 2 inches wide, and drives women wild? Then it hit me. Youre bootiful, fancy going for a walk?! OK, now you say, Control Freak who?. 37. What do you call the useless piece of skin on a dick? Check out these other why did the chicken cross the road? jokes for more laughs. A deodor-ant. Computers dont laugh at 3.5 floppies. In a hambulance. What did the cheese say when he looked in the mirror? Nobody asked you, either, but it seems that we all have to listen. Confused by some of these clever jokes? He loses. I'll meet you at the corner. If you see me smiling its because Im thinking of doing something bad. Martin holds a Masters degree in Finance and International Business. Oral sex makes your day. What did the Buddhist ask the hot dog vendor? Totally shocked. What did the penis say to the vagina? They went up by a, Two cows are grazing in a field. Hi! All it was doing was gathering dust! Your opinion is very important to me. This response shows that you really dont care that you werent asked. Whos there? Remains to be seen. Just-in. This response is very clever because it makes it very clear that you contributed helpful information. This response works because it makes it seem like you dont really care what the question asker wanted. Since 2017, over 500 new Campers have joined us across our three groups - Customer, Org, and Product - and we thought we'd share the laughter with you. The funny responses are more for getting a good laugh out of the group around you than trying to come out on top and seeming smart. Some mornings I wake up grumpy, on others I let her sleep in. What does a 75-year old woman have between her breasts that a 25 year old doesnt? The other girlfriend grabs a paper towel and goes to hand it to her friend, but she trips and elbows her bestie right in the boob. Ones pretty heavy and the others a little lighter. What did the bald man exclaim when he received a comb for a present? Whats the difference between a penis and a bonus? What did the grape do when it was sat on? It can be used in a lot of contexts but usually, did I ask you? is more often than not a rhetorical question, with no answer being looked for.if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[728,90],'grammarhow_com-box-3','ezslot_7',105,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-grammarhow_com-box-3-0'); The short answer is, yes. Re-Morse code. My wife told me to stop impersonating a flamingo. Honesty may be the best policy, but insanity is the best defense. Carol Yepes/ Getty Images. Ivana fuck your brains out. One asks, "What's your favorite kind of music?" 2. The actor is still close with some of her onscreen family. What did the hurricane say to the coconut tree? What's the difference between a golfer and a skydiver? Whats the difference between your wife and your job? Sometimes, you might be in a goofy mood or just want to laugh, so when someone asks did I ask you, you decide to give them a funny response. 45 lbs. 3. 11. What did the Buddhist say to the hot dog vendor? I asked my wife why she never blinked during foreplay; she said she didnt have time. "Are you gay?". Life without women would be a pain in the butt, literally. It is hard to know what response to go with, clever or funny. Bernadette. Some are dead. "Why the big pause?" asks the bartender. Apparently, I need to pay more attention during school pick-up. After all, its tempting to put people in their place when theyre being needlessly rude, especially if you think theyre wrong. You dont have to be rude or disrespectful when someone asks this question. What's a foot long and slippery? Da brie was everywhere. One shouts to the other, "I need you to help me get to the other side!" well, almost never! They both have an ability to misfire. The Satisfactory. 12. 41. Cause your face looks kind of funky. Explanation: By themselves, the musical notes C, E-flat, and G are simply tones, neither major nor minor. Such as bosses, future bosses, hopeful romantic partners, future in-laws, or random people on the street. I used to hate facial hairbut then it grew on me. An impasta. Whether you're looking for popular kid jokes, animal jokes or, yes, even the dad jokes, we've got them on this list of kid-tested/parent-approved jokes for kids. Because they're really good at it. But John came fifth and won a toaster. just ask them why they are so insecure about things. Dont worry, said the doc. If you loved this, youll get a kick out of these dog puns. A receding hare line. Two men meet on opposite sides of a river. You can try being the life of the party with one of these: Be careful joking with women. By using one of the comebacks from our list, you can shut down the person who asked without causing a scene. 2010 The Thought & Expression Company, LLC. In the middle of the night, the guy on the right side of the bed wakes up and says, Wow, I had this mad dream I was getting a hand job. The guy on the left side of the bed has also woken up and says that hes had the same dream, too. Once a girl looked at me and shouted loudly, I don't want to sit next to her! 1. Whats the difference between a hippo and a zippo? Virgin Mobile, Boy: Want to hear a joke about my dick? What did the rock drummer call his twin daughters? A lip reader. So the next time someone tells you, nobody asked, just let them have it with one of these witty comebacks. What did the man give his fianc, a card enthusiast, when he wanted to propose to her? No, but you need all the help you can get. Whats warm, wet, and pink? The bartender shows them the door and says, Sorry, we dont serve minors.. Because he felt burned out. Making it very clear that the question asker was being rude. Oh never mind, Im still working on that one. Which will often come across very rudely. Clever responses are better suited for when in the company of people you want to impress. What did one hat say to the other? The bartender says, "Why the long face?". Kid 1: "I don't have a sister.". We are no longer supporting IE (Internet Explorer) as we strive to provide site experiences for browsers that support new web standards and security practices. Why is England the wettest country? How is a push-up bra like a bag of chips? I was kidnapped by mimes once. A buccaneer. You planet. A little girl and boy are fighting about the differences between the sexes, and which one is better. They did unspeakable things to me. The extra E in three and the missing R in error. The third error? A four-chin teller. How did the hipster burn his mouth? 137 of the Best Jokes for Kids. Dont you hate people who use big words just to make themselves look perspicacious? I stood at the front, cleared my throat, choked back the tears, and said, "Plethora." Whoever stole my antidepressants I hope you are happy now. You boil the hell out of it. navigator.sendBeacon('https://www.google-analytics.com/collect', payload); []BMany people think of bully as one child pushing or hitting another, but bullying is not only physical. Mental Style Project has been created as an outlet to guide you as you navigate through life, with the right tools and resources that will upgrade your life, enable you to take charge of your personal growth, and improve your wellness journey. Because he neverlands. Then, use one of the above witty comebacks to shut them down! This response is clever because it shows that as much as the question asker doesnt care what you have to say, you dont care what they have to say. Copy it to easily share with friends. I always tell new hires, Dont think of me as your boss, think of me as a friend who can fire you.. Why is Peter Pan always flying? 1.) 42. Phillipe Phillope. About. 35) A couple gets married, and on their wedding night, the wife asks what a penis is.